Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I know I have expressed before my frustrations with a certain co-worker who never really seems to have it together. Just to really drive my point home I will share a conversation we just had...or rather I had.

Me: Hey, were you just standing near the door?

: No. what?

Me: I was at the cabinet and thought I saw a shadow like you were standing in the doorway.

Co-worker: Huh? Oh, why did you see something?

Really? Why do I waste my time talking?? Here's another one just a few seconds ago...

: **slurred speech** Hey girl, what's up? Tell me what's going on with you.

Me: Um, I'm good? ...nothing is going on.

: Are you sure? What's going on, what's up?

Me: No, I'm fine...just working.

: Oh...well that's....(inaudible)...**falls asleep at the desk, while talking!**

I post these conversations here so that I can laugh about them instead of going over and punching her in the face. lol, and because of that I'm sure I will be posting many more in the days to come.

Monday, March 28, 2011

The inevitable.

All my life I have had a fear of becoming like my mother and inheriting her Bipolar disorder. Today I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Though what I have is nothing near what she is/was dealing with I still have a twinge of loathing toward her...not that it was anything anyone could prevent or be accountable for. I know it's irrational to blame her for any of it but on some subconscious level I think I do. To me it's embarrassing to admit.

No amount of gnashing of teeth will change the situation. I am currently fighting the doctor on taking any medication as I feel as though I can try to control it with relaxation techniques as well as reducing my stress levels. Hopefully it will be something that I can overcome easily and not have to resort to medication. Here's to hoping and praying.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Growing up is awesome!

Today I was looking through all of the facebook suggestions of people I may know and want to friend because of our mutual friends. As I skimmed through I kept seeing all these people from High School or Church Camp or even some of my family members that I choose to not speak to (much to my parent's dismay). None of these people are people I would want to friend because I can't go back to the fake happy that is Edmond Memorial. The place where your peers drive Mercedes to school and live in mansions with tennis courts in the backyard and everyone is happy because nothing could ever go wrong.

It got me thinking about the past and how much I have changed as a person since I was younger. It's been almost 9 years since I graduated High School. Back then all I was concerned about was Choir competitions and making sure that I was different enough to stand out in a crowd yet normal enough to fit in. My friends were all a year older than me with the exception of my choir buddies. And until my junior year I never really hung out with anyone in my same grade until I was forced into it when all my friends graduated. As far back as I can remember I've never had problems making friends or fitting in with anyone...I find you can always relate to someone on some level no matter who they are or what they do. But I always veer toward the older crowd.

The person I am today is much different from the person I was when I was younger. From freshman year in college on I blossomed into a completely different person that I like very much. I'm no longer concerned with what people think about me, I'm a bit of a workaholic and I try to fill every moment with the fun I never had as a kid. And now I know who I am and I know the me that everyone thinks I am and it still makes me happy to be me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Save the drama for yo mama!

**Sigh** I am not a fan of caddy girl fights in general let alone over a guy. It's petty and immature. There's always another way to deal with things rather than being dramatic, mean or caniving. It's just not necessary.

Somehow despite all my convictions about it I have found myself smack dab in the middle of drama. This is how the story goes: my dark little rain cloud decided that she was finally ready to cut the nice guy loose (we'll call him Bob for now). We talked about it and I told her that she was hurting herself as well as Bob by staying with him and not being interested or committed. I made sure she understood that I was saying this out of concern for her happiness and not because I was wanting to swoop in and steal him. (Though I would like to be that skilled, I can't fathom picking a guy over a friend.) She told me that she has no problem with us getting together at all and that we are so perfect for each other that it's just wrong for us to not be together. Whatev.

The point is that there's a concert she has been wanting to go to and wanted me to go with her but I had plans for the same weekend. My plans are not set in stone and are looking like they won't be followed through. I didn't tell her this in time so she invited Bob to go with her despite her voicing how much she didn't want him to go with her previously. So she tells me that he's going and forwards one of his text msgs to me where he was telling her that he wanted me to go to the concert as well. I told her that I would go at this point. Because I didn't tell her about my plans falling through earlier she interpreted this as me not wanting to go with her but that I wanted to go when he wanted me to go.

Now she's mad but won't say she's mad. Grr! This is why a majority of my friends are guys. Because with the exception of a select few...girls are caddy and filled with drama.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I realize that I haven't blogged in a few days. I was trying to come up with something really cool to write about and then I realized that I'm so overloaded on work and other people's drama that I have no energy to write about the non-existent drama in my life.

Though I will leave you with just a little bit of an update. My birthday was Monday so the weekend before was spent dancing on too high heels and drinking just enough to keep my liver in working condition. Of course with my group of friends there was the usual drama of who's riding with who and yelling at one another for being late or not wearing what was agreed upon. (I went through the trouble of picking out a beautiful black party dress for the occasion only to have an allergic reaction to some new make up and had to throw on jeans at the last minute to mask the hives.) I still had a great time dancing my way into the VIP area which I didn't bother to reserve since it was $900 for 15 people...for 6 hours.

And another birthday highlight was when the sweet talker thought he should call and tell me that he was going to come see me for my birthday but that the plane ticket fell through. Long story short he was coming to see another girl he had just met online and because she wouldn't get the ticket through the airline she worked for he couldn't come out. Needless to say I'm done with that one.

On a lighter note, I just won two tickets to a private concert & meet and greet with Grace Potter and the Nocturnals! Woo hoo!!!!!:)