Of course with the title of this post you can assume that there is yet more drama that has unfolded in my life. I have once and for all learned my lesson in dating a guy that a "friend" suggests for you. In this case it is of course the same friend that I've been having issues with and that I kept giving chance after chance to. But as of this past weekend I am completely done with it, I just can't handle the stress that it causes.
On a side note, as a new side effect of my Anxiety Disorder I'm now experiencing uncontrollable, unpredictable hives. As if it wasn't hard enough to go out in public without a slight twinge of anxiety...now I have the added worry of if I will have a break out and getting past people staring once I start breaking out.
This past weekend I had two separate "attacks." The first and most embarrassing was while I was out on a 'non-date' with Bob. While sitting in the movie theater I could feel the itching coming on. As I fumbled around in my purse for the Benedryl I realized that my hands were swollen as well as my wrists. After the movie, Bob was frantic and actually tried to take me to the hospital. Him freaking out only made me freak out more. So after drinking almost a whole bottle of liquid Benedryl and taking a cold shower I fell asleep. Then it happened yet again over the course of the weekend...again while I was out in public. At this point I would be content in becoming a hermit and remaining alone...at least until I can get to an allergist to figure out how to get rid of them...
Monday, June 6, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Hometown Glory
I'm sure that at this point everyone has seen the devastation that has happened to my little hometown of Joplin, Missouri. Thank God my mom and grandparents were spared and the most damage is a little water damage to my grandparents home. At this point my mom is worried about how they will have enough money to put food on the table since neither her or her husband are able to work at this point. My mother works/worked at St. John's Hospital which is now in shambles. My step dad is a welder and because there is no water at his workplace, he too is out of work. My sister's two friends were killed while out on a shopping trip. A cousin's friend has a husband who is still missing and so many others are unaccounted for. In a town as small as Joplin...everyone knows everyone.
Looking at pictures of the devastation I can see the parks I used to play as a child completely gone. In some pictures it's so destroyed that I can't even tell where it is or what I'm looking at...just miles and miles of debris.
I know that such a small town has already banned together to help everyone in need regardless of the amount of damage and injury sustained. They will not stop until everyone in need has been helped and every home and business has been restored. I just wish that I could be there to help.
If anyone reading would like to help in any way here’s how to get involved:
•To support the Salvation Army disaster relief efforts, people can text the word “JOPLIN” to 80888 for an automatic $10 donation, call 1-800-SAL-ARMY (1-800-725-2769) or go to www.salvationarmy.us. Donations may be mailed to The Salvation Army, 3637 Broadway, Kansas City, MO 64111.
•To support the American Red Cross disaster relief, people can text the word “REDCROSS” to 90999 to make a $10 donation, or call 1-800-Red-Cross (1-800-733-2767). Donations may be mailed to the Red Cross’ Greater Kansas City Chapter, 211 W. Armour Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64114.
•Heart to Heart International is asking medical volunteers to contact the organization at 913-764-5200. The general public can make financial contributions or pack hygiene kits. To learn how to pack the kits or to help in other ways, go to www.hearttoheart.org. Heart to Heart sent medical volunteers to Joplin Sunday night and has since deployed its mobile health clinic to the region for further medical aid.
•The Community Blood Center is asking area residents to donate blood this week. To find a mobile blood drive, go to www.savealifenow.org or call 1-888-647-4040. Donors can also go to one of Community Blood Center’s seven neighborhood donation centers.
•Spin Neapolitan Pizza will collect money at its four locations through at least Friday or until it raises $2,500 in donations. The pizza company also will match the total donated up to $2,500. The proceeds will go to assist Heart to Heart International.Spin has locations at 4950 Main St. in Kansas City; 1808 N.W. Chipman Road in Lee’s Summit; 6541 W. 119th St. in Overland Park and 14230 W. 119th St. in Olathe.
•Summit Christian Academy and GracePointe Church in Lee’s Summit will make a trip to Joplin to drop off supplies Wednesday morning.
They are looking for donations of bottled water, clothes, medical supplies, gas cans, generators, extension cords, nonperishable food items, toiletries and baby items including diapers, wipes and formula.
Drop off supplies between 7:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. today at Summit Christian Academy, 1500 S.W. Jefferson St., Lee’s Summit.
Looking at pictures of the devastation I can see the parks I used to play as a child completely gone. In some pictures it's so destroyed that I can't even tell where it is or what I'm looking at...just miles and miles of debris.
I know that such a small town has already banned together to help everyone in need regardless of the amount of damage and injury sustained. They will not stop until everyone in need has been helped and every home and business has been restored. I just wish that I could be there to help.
If anyone reading would like to help in any way here’s how to get involved:
•To support the Salvation Army disaster relief efforts, people can text the word “JOPLIN” to 80888 for an automatic $10 donation, call 1-800-SAL-ARMY (1-800-725-2769) or go to www.salvationarmy.us. Donations may be mailed to The Salvation Army, 3637 Broadway, Kansas City, MO 64111.
•To support the American Red Cross disaster relief, people can text the word “REDCROSS” to 90999 to make a $10 donation, or call 1-800-Red-Cross (1-800-733-2767). Donations may be mailed to the Red Cross’ Greater Kansas City Chapter, 211 W. Armour Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64114.
•Heart to Heart International is asking medical volunteers to contact the organization at 913-764-5200. The general public can make financial contributions or pack hygiene kits. To learn how to pack the kits or to help in other ways, go to www.hearttoheart.org. Heart to Heart sent medical volunteers to Joplin Sunday night and has since deployed its mobile health clinic to the region for further medical aid.
•The Community Blood Center is asking area residents to donate blood this week. To find a mobile blood drive, go to www.savealifenow.org or call 1-888-647-4040. Donors can also go to one of Community Blood Center’s seven neighborhood donation centers.
•Spin Neapolitan Pizza will collect money at its four locations through at least Friday or until it raises $2,500 in donations. The pizza company also will match the total donated up to $2,500. The proceeds will go to assist Heart to Heart International.Spin has locations at 4950 Main St. in Kansas City; 1808 N.W. Chipman Road in Lee’s Summit; 6541 W. 119th St. in Overland Park and 14230 W. 119th St. in Olathe.
•Summit Christian Academy and GracePointe Church in Lee’s Summit will make a trip to Joplin to drop off supplies Wednesday morning.
They are looking for donations of bottled water, clothes, medical supplies, gas cans, generators, extension cords, nonperishable food items, toiletries and baby items including diapers, wipes and formula.
Drop off supplies between 7:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. today at Summit Christian Academy, 1500 S.W. Jefferson St., Lee’s Summit.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Frustration running rampant...
I realize that I haven't made a post in quite some time and the main reason is because I have so much going on with...everything really. For me to talk out everything makes me feel like a broken record and at that point I start to annoy myself so I can only imagine how everyone else reading this feels. And yet...I'm probably going to do it anyway lol.
Ok, I understand that there are some people in this world who are perfectionists and ALWAYS have to be right and look like they know every possible piece of correct information there is to know in the world. What I don't understand is how these people can flip it on and off like a switch. A co-worker/friend of mine is one of these said people. She's very intelligent and knows more than me when it comes to certain areas. Yet she seems to think that it's perfectly ok to steamroll right over me a good 3 or 4 days a week. Taking my calls, handling my files, and making me look like an ass to the boss. Then she's back to friend mode like nothing happened. I know that I know what I'm doing and that she's just trying to maintain the polished, perfectionist image she has of herself but that doesn't stop me from wanting to confront her but I'm the furthest thing from confrontational so I don't really know what to do...
Yikes....this turned out to be a rant post didn't it? Well, I promise to make more of an effort to post something worth reading next time and not just more gibberish about dumb work stuff. :)
Ok, I understand that there are some people in this world who are perfectionists and ALWAYS have to be right and look like they know every possible piece of correct information there is to know in the world. What I don't understand is how these people can flip it on and off like a switch. A co-worker/friend of mine is one of these said people. She's very intelligent and knows more than me when it comes to certain areas. Yet she seems to think that it's perfectly ok to steamroll right over me a good 3 or 4 days a week. Taking my calls, handling my files, and making me look like an ass to the boss. Then she's back to friend mode like nothing happened. I know that I know what I'm doing and that she's just trying to maintain the polished, perfectionist image she has of herself but that doesn't stop me from wanting to confront her but I'm the furthest thing from confrontational so I don't really know what to do...
Yikes....this turned out to be a rant post didn't it? Well, I promise to make more of an effort to post something worth reading next time and not just more gibberish about dumb work stuff. :)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I'm back!
Though I haven't written on here in quite some time not a whole lot has happened...for the most part. We've already established that I'm quite boring at times so this shouldn't surprise you in the least bit.
During my absence I found out that I have a new baby brother coming. The whole story encompassing this would be much too long and complicated to explain. We'll just say that we are all excited about a new life and addition to the family but none of us are very happy about the circumstances leading up to it. But either way there's nothing anyone can do about it and it just is what it is.
I also found out that my grandmother has stage 2 ovarian cancer. It scares me that 1. this increases my risk of developing a cancerous cyst 2. I've already had one ovary removed and might lose the remaining one 3. I'm scared for her. Though her and I are not close by any means I don't want her to pass without me kind of making amends for my negative feelings toward her all these years. My mother has made me promise to go visit her before she passes. She's still fighting it and no one has given her a time limit on life but we're all scared in general.
There's much more to be said about losing friendships, dealing with anxiety, depression and other stupidity but that's a story for a different time. And now despite all of this I'm legitimately happy. See, I sat down and had a talk with myself and said, 'Self, you can't go around all gloom and doom, over analyzing everything and not doing anything to change your outlook.' So I changed it...and it feels good!
One thing is for sure...I'm definitely avoiding negative people like the plague because that shit will come back and stick to you double fold.
During my absence I found out that I have a new baby brother coming. The whole story encompassing this would be much too long and complicated to explain. We'll just say that we are all excited about a new life and addition to the family but none of us are very happy about the circumstances leading up to it. But either way there's nothing anyone can do about it and it just is what it is.
I also found out that my grandmother has stage 2 ovarian cancer. It scares me that 1. this increases my risk of developing a cancerous cyst 2. I've already had one ovary removed and might lose the remaining one 3. I'm scared for her. Though her and I are not close by any means I don't want her to pass without me kind of making amends for my negative feelings toward her all these years. My mother has made me promise to go visit her before she passes. She's still fighting it and no one has given her a time limit on life but we're all scared in general.
There's much more to be said about losing friendships, dealing with anxiety, depression and other stupidity but that's a story for a different time. And now despite all of this I'm legitimately happy. See, I sat down and had a talk with myself and said, 'Self, you can't go around all gloom and doom, over analyzing everything and not doing anything to change your outlook.' So I changed it...and it feels good!
One thing is for sure...I'm definitely avoiding negative people like the plague because that shit will come back and stick to you double fold.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
You say you want a Revolution?
I wish I could travel back to the days when the changing of times was prevalent and constantly evolving where life had more meaning. Where the youth was concerned about world peace and freedom, not which reality TV star they wanted to watch. Back to the time of oppression and tyranny where everyday was a step closer to overcoming the struggles of everyday life.
In my opinion John Lennon was the father of the revolution. He protested, fought and devoted his life to showing the world that there is more to life than fighting and hate. His anti-war movement started a wave of love and togetherness.
Though we're still evolving and there is still war, hate and ignorance running rampant...it seems as though we've become complacent.
I suppose the only thing to do now is to start my own revolution...whatever that might be.
In my opinion John Lennon was the father of the revolution. He protested, fought and devoted his life to showing the world that there is more to life than fighting and hate. His anti-war movement started a wave of love and togetherness.
Though we're still evolving and there is still war, hate and ignorance running rampant...it seems as though we've become complacent.
I suppose the only thing to do now is to start my own revolution...whatever that might be.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Holy drama Batman!
I realized today that I haven't blogged in a heck of a long time. Not that I have too many readers at this point to really be disappointed about my absence but I digress.
Of course while I was away the drama I was talking about before snowballed. Bob came to be and told me that he was over my dark little rain cloud and that he couldn't believe that he wasted 3 months of his life on her...but all was not lost because he met me (awww). He asked me to tell him detailed accounts of her past relationships so he could better understand her and what happened when they were together.
Granted I probably shouldn't have told him as much as I did but I only spoke the truth and I wanted him to understand exactly what type of a person she was and how she operated in relationships and what she was doing with him in particular. He finally saw the light and realized that he wanted nothing to do with her. Sweet.
Well, 2 days later apparently she performed some sort of hypnotics on him because he forgot everything I said to him and is once again following her around with his head firmly up her ass. Though she says they're just friends he sings a different tune. Either way, I removed myself from the equation and told both of them that I didn't want to be asked for relationship advice nor did I want to hang out with either of them as a third wheel. So, that's another relationship down the drain for me. On to more online dating and friend set-ups. Yay. (If you know me at all you can hear all of the sarcasm dripping out of that last yay.)
Of course while I was away the drama I was talking about before snowballed. Bob came to be and told me that he was over my dark little rain cloud and that he couldn't believe that he wasted 3 months of his life on her...but all was not lost because he met me (awww). He asked me to tell him detailed accounts of her past relationships so he could better understand her and what happened when they were together.
Granted I probably shouldn't have told him as much as I did but I only spoke the truth and I wanted him to understand exactly what type of a person she was and how she operated in relationships and what she was doing with him in particular. He finally saw the light and realized that he wanted nothing to do with her. Sweet.
Well, 2 days later apparently she performed some sort of hypnotics on him because he forgot everything I said to him and is once again following her around with his head firmly up her ass. Though she says they're just friends he sings a different tune. Either way, I removed myself from the equation and told both of them that I didn't want to be asked for relationship advice nor did I want to hang out with either of them as a third wheel. So, that's another relationship down the drain for me. On to more online dating and friend set-ups. Yay. (If you know me at all you can hear all of the sarcasm dripping out of that last yay.)
Friday, April 1, 2011
So....yeah....about that.
My friends are awesome. True story. The fact of the matter is that there are a lot of people who will consider me their friend or even best friend. But I have discovered that there are only a select few that I actually consider my friends and even fewer that I declare my best friends. Mostly because I'm too much of a deep person for most people and they usually don't stick around for more than a few seconds. And if they do...well, those are the ones who are lucky enough to know me at my best and worse
One of my best friends is Jon. We met freshman year of College in Psychology class. I saw him across the amphitheater looking all hot with his dark hair and bright blue eyes (which I found out later were just color contacts) and perfect teeth. I bravely asked him (after weeks of just smiling and quickly looking away) to go to the movies with me and a couple friends (which translates to a sneaky double date). He accepted the offer and I was swooning. A week later I find out that he's not interested in me and is subsequently gay. And the rest is history! We were inseparable in and out of school. Everyone who didn't know the details thought we were together. And even now with states between us we're still the best of friends. There's never a time when we're together or talking that we don't laugh uncontrollably.
Just yesterday he calls me to give 1st class dating advice,
Jon: Hey boo boo, how are you and the yummy boy doing?
Me: Umm, ok I guess? I don't know he just kinda makes me nervous sometimes.
Jon: Why? Are you being weird? Don't be weird!
LOL, and this is why I love him so much...that and he does my hair for free every time I see him.
One of my best friends is Jon. We met freshman year of College in Psychology class. I saw him across the amphitheater looking all hot with his dark hair and bright blue eyes (which I found out later were just color contacts) and perfect teeth. I bravely asked him (after weeks of just smiling and quickly looking away) to go to the movies with me and a couple friends (which translates to a sneaky double date). He accepted the offer and I was swooning. A week later I find out that he's not interested in me and is subsequently gay. And the rest is history! We were inseparable in and out of school. Everyone who didn't know the details thought we were together. And even now with states between us we're still the best of friends. There's never a time when we're together or talking that we don't laugh uncontrollably.
Just yesterday he calls me to give 1st class dating advice,
Jon: Hey boo boo, how are you and the yummy boy doing?
Me: Umm, ok I guess? I don't know he just kinda makes me nervous sometimes.
Jon: Why? Are you being weird? Don't be weird!
LOL, and this is why I love him so much...that and he does my hair for free every time I see him.
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